Feeling much better today. Uni is starting again properly and things social-wise are going to kick off later in the week. Hopefully that will keep me busy and I'll be able to get things back on track :-)

This seems rather applicable right now.

Well before I went on holiday I told my supervisor that I had tried many different permutations of initial conditions to get the results we are looking for, without success. I said could she run some simulations to see if she had any luck. I assumed she was doing this while I was away but she came to see me yesterday (when we were supposed to be having our meeting) and said could I email her to let her know what I had done so she didn't run the same simulations. I sent her an email outlining my most recent work and thought no more of it. Our meeting was rescheduled to today and ten minutes before the meeting she came to see me saying she needed to know all of the tests I had run and not just the most recent. I was furious (but didn't show it) because all of the simulations to date have been written up in the draft of the paper we are (supposedly) going to publish. There is a big table summerising all of the simulations we have run. I sent her an email listing all of the different test that have been run and asked if I had misunderstood what she was asking for, as they are all listed in the paper. She said that was all the information she needed. Why did she waste all this time when the information was already there? I was on holiday for a week and she could have used that time to run the simulations so we could progress once I returned.

She also asked me to redo the figures in the paper, using a different colour scheme. When I did the figures originally I sent her an email with an example for her to approve, as getting the figures to a publishable standard takes a lot of time. I explained this to her at the time as I didn't want to have to redo all of the figures (it takes around a day to put all of the finishing touches to the images).

I'm absolutely despairing at the moment with how disorginised the whole project is. In stark contrast, the supervisor who I originally was going to work with (and wish I had stayed with) went from the analysis of the results to submitting a paper in 16 days. This has been going on for 2 years! I'm somehow going to have to make up for two years of wasted time in the next three months. It's going to take a miracle.

EDIT: I've decided to arrange a (hopefully) confidential meeting with my secondary supervisor (who published the paper in 16 days) and get all of this out in the open (at least with him). This may go badly as far as my relationship with my supervisor goes but at this point I don't care. As I'm self funded I've invested a lot of money in this PhD and really don't want to see it pissed away.

EDIT 2: Well I have separate meetings with both my supervisor and secondary supervisor today. Initially I was a bit concerned as to how this would go but it really can't get much worse. I've all but failed anyway, through no fault of my own (other than not sorting this earlier).

EDIT 3: Well my supervisory meeting that was originally planned for Wednesday was then moved to Thursday, which was then moved to today has, unsurprisingly, been moved to Monday. This is because my supervisor hasn't had time to look at the results. I knew this was going to happen as I know how long it takes for the code to complete so I'm not surprise. I find it incomprehensible how disorganised someone can be.

Well yesterday went well food wise. I spent most of the day at Uni so kept myself occupied. I usually have issues when I go to the cinema or if I'm sat at home watching TVs/movies. I really don't want to have to stop doing these things so I will just have to do my best to distract myself from eating. I think forward planning is important which is why I've got dinner in the slow cooker for when I get home. Hopefully I can keep up the momentum.

Okay, a tad worse than I thought but only a tad.

Current weight 14 stone 4.25lb

So I think it would be best to set some mini goals:

Goal 1 - get back into the 13 stone range
Goal 2 - get to 13 stone 1lb as this will be back in the normal range
Goal 3 - get into the 12 stone range

Hopefully this will be a good week. I may blog midweek, if not it will be after weigh-in next Monday.

Things have been up and down for about the last 6 months. I have gained at least 1.5 stone since my lowest weight of 12 stone 6lb. I'm really annoyed as I didn't seem to have any control over it, which is scary. I'm getting back on plan tomorrow and have a fridge and cupboards full of SW friendly food. I have decided to stop going to group as I don't think the pressure of the weigh-in was helping. You're never judged if you gain weight but I'm always really hard on myself.

I read back through my previous weight loss posts and they did give me a bit of inspiration. Once I have weight in tomorrow I'll blog again and set some mini targets as I do think it helps to not look at the bigger picture. I have a wedding to go to in about 6 weeks so I'm going to do the best I can between now and then. Hopefully once the weight starts coming off again I'll start to feel a bit better about myself and that will help with the further weight loss. That's one of the big problems, when you feel crap it's difficult to break the cycle and that just makes you feel worse.    

Had a week away and I feel much better, I think. I've decided to continue with the PhD, at least until December. If I haven't made significant progress by then I'll call it a day (I only have until March next year anyway). I have a meeting with my supervisor on Wednesday and I want to discuss how we are going to move forward and make sure I finish on time.

On a side note, I had an 'interesting' dream last night about a friend. He'd recently split up with his girlfriend and we got drunk...

Feel a bit better today. Not sure why exactly but it's a start. Managed to keep my eating under control today, even though I wanted to binge. It's difficult but if I can ignore the cravings, they pass in about 20 to 30 mins. Off on holiday tomorrow evening so I'll have to do the best I can food-wise. Once I get back I'm going to try to lose as much weight as I can for a friend's wedding at the end of October. If I stick at it I can shift much of the weight I have regained and then, hopefully, hit my target just in time for Christmas (a food nightmare!).  

Perhaps I should give up.

Feeling worse than I was before. Actually cried earlier for no reason. I went to the Doctor's the other day to see if I could get some SSRIs as they're supposed to help with binge eating. He said he'd prescribe them if I really wanted me to, but he recommended that I wait for my self-help appointment. As I don't like going against medical advice I said I'd wait, but maybe I should go back and see him again (he said to go back if I changed my mind).

Ugh, scrap everything I said in my last post. This is probably the lowest I have been for as long as I can remember. I try to look on the bright side because in the grand scheme of things I've nothing to complain about. But at the end of the day everyone's reference point is their own life. My PhD is going nowhere fast, despite how much I try to convince my supervisor (who is next to useless). I wasn't given the job that I was practically promised, and as a result I have no idea what to do when I eventually finish.

I guess I'll just have to KBO, as Churchill would say.

 

Post tenebras lux

After a particularly bad few months of relapse, I'm finally back in control. I decided to take the step of giving up chocolate and fast food altogether, as they were my main binge-eating foods. Everything I had read about binge eating had said not to give up any particular food, as this can trigger binging. I tried to have controlled amounts of these foods and sometimes I would be OK, and other times it would make things worse. Almost as soon as I made the decision, it was like a switch had been flicked. I didn't get any cravings or urges and I've not been off plan since I made that decision two weeks ago. I've lost 11.5lbs of the weight that I gained back and hopefully I'll reach my target weight sometime around the middle of August. I'm going on holiday at the beginning of September so I really want to be at my target weight then. 

I'm a bit apprehensive of what I'll be able to eat when I'm on holiday. There's no way I'll be able to stick to SW 100% but I'll have to do the best that I can, and choose the best options I have available. Rather than have a full fried breakfast (which you can do on SW, with some tweaks), I can have fruit and fat free yogurt. Plus we're going to Jamie Oliver's Fifteen for my birthday which, as far as I'm aware, is a set menu. I'll just have to make sure I have plenty of exercise (as there's a swimming pool and a beach this shouldn't be too difficult). 

Hopefully I'm back on track now, only time will tell.         

I was watching a show the other day called Obese: A Year to Save My Life. It does pretty much what it says on the tin. It's takes severely obese people and follows them over the course of a year, as they lose weight and save their lives. This particular episode featured a guy named Wally, who was 490lb (around 37 stones). His first challenge was to lose 110lb (nearly 8 stones) in 90 days. Now that's a hell of a feat, losing a bit over 1lb per day for 90 days. If he succeeds, him and his family would be sent to Disney Land. He managed it by the skin of his teeth, losing exactly 110lbs in the time-frame.

From there though, things started going downhill. He was challenged to lose 70lbs over the next 90 days but only managed 29. He reveals he has started eating fast food more and his trainer goes ballistic. He's set the challenge of getting back on track and doing a 100 mile bike ride. He doesn't succeed and after 40 miles needs medical attention as he's just too big to handle the extreme task.

The next 90 days are even worse. He starts eating junk food every day and is lying to his friends and family. He stops replying to his trainer, and sends what appears to be a suicide note. His trainer immediately flies over to find out what's going on. Wally says he just can't stop eating the junk food and is extremely depressed. His trainer weighs him in and he's gained back over 60lbs.

Normally, at the end of the year there's a big reveal to friends and family to show how far the person has come. Considering what's happened, Wally's trainer decides to end things there and admit Wally to rehab for food addiction. During the whole episode, I understood how this guy felt. I realised a while ago that I have a food addiction too. I got to 17 stone, half this guy's weight, but managed to turn things around. I still struggle every day though and I did slip up over the last few months and gained back about 16lbs, after losing a bit over 60. I've got things under control again and I'm losing the weight I gained back.

I don't think people quite understand how hard it is to live with food addiction, or that it even exists. If you are a smoker, you don't need cigarettes to live. If you are an alcoholic, you don't need to drink alcohol to live. If you are a drug addict, you don't need your drug to live. But you need to eat food, you can't just stop eating. You have to face you addiction 3 times a day, every day. Not only that, the advertising of cigarettes has been banned and alcohol advertisements are highly regulated. There aren't the same regulations for junk food, except during kids' TV. Everywhere you turn there are adverts; at bus stops, on billboards, on the TV, on the radio. You go into the supermarket and they have junk at the tills and junk food is always being offered for cheap. Hopefully, one day, the food industry will be made to take responsibility. Until then I'll keep going and try to keep this under control.       

OK, the gym has been going well. The eating part, not so much. I haven't been terrible, just not as good as I could have been. I'm going to make sure (come Hell or high water) that I'm good from this week onward. In addition to the reason I stated before, I have chosen a couple of costumes for a charity fundraising event that happens annually and both would look much better if I was in good shape. In fact, one won't happen unless I'm completely comfortable and I have reached my goals. The first of the costume choices is this. It's expensive but looks awesome. I'm always a bit dubious about by cheap costumes because they usually end up looking cheap. 

The second choice would be Dante from the computer game Devil May Cry. The coat he wears in the 3rd game is made by a company in Canada that make absolutely awesome replicas. I got a coat from them about 8 years ago and it's amazing. People still complement me when I wear it and it was well worth the price. The picture below is said character and you can see why I'd be a bit apprehensive. I'm a long way off from being able to pull that off, and even though I have about 10 months till the event, I'm not sure that there's enough time. I'm going to go for it, though, and see how close I can get. If nothing else I have the determination.   

   

Well I had the fitness exercise programme today and it was good. I had a fitness test first which was similar to the bleep test except it was stepping on and off a box. My heart rate reached the 80% limit before I couldn't carry on anymore which I think is good as I can now get it fitter with some cardio.

We then moved on to the cross trainer and did 5 mins making sure to keep the pace up above (I think) 128. That was followed by some resistance training and then 5 mins on the treadmill. This consisted of 5 mins at a fast pace on an incline of 3. I then did some more resistance training and finished on the rowing machine. The aim was to row 500m to warm up and try to beat the warm-up time after I had rested.

I've been instructed to do 2 or 3 reps for each of the resistance training and to also increase either the rate or incline for the cardio to get my heart rate up to 80% of its maximum (about 180 bpm). I only did one rep for each of the resistance training exercises so feel OK today but I think Monday will be a different story!

I'll blog again then.   

This.

This for my next tattoo.

Well I had my consultation at the gym yesterday. It was really good. The guy knows what he's talking about and we discussed my goals. He said in terms of the numbers (weight, body fat percentage etc.) I'm don't need to be too concerned. I agreed and said I'm not so bothered about losing more weight (although I'd like to reach my target of 12 stone), I'm more interested in losing fat. He said that he gets results with people going two or three times a week and that, for good or bad, I won't be in the gym for very long as the workout regime will be fairly intense. This suits me as I think I'll be more likely to stick at it if I go three times a week and don't have to be in there for hours at a time.

Tomorrow he's going to do a fitness test and go through the exercise programme with me so I'll blog again after to that with how I got on.

So I finally saw a headache specialist today. He said that they were cluster headaches. We had a chat about where to go from here. He said he'll write a letter to my GP outlining the medication I need to be prescribed (steroids and Varapamil) as well as the injections being essential for if/when I get the headaches. He said that the injections are a last resort and they should be able to find the right combination of drugs that means I'll be able to live normally if/when I have another cluster.

Although it's still a bit up in the air, I feel better having spoken to someone who knows what they are talking about.

OK, time for a confession. My name is Ascendant Justice and I hate the way I look. There, I've said it. I've never been happy with the way I look. I know everyone has hang-ups about their bodies but there are things (like going to the beach) that I will specifically avoid. I don't really care who's to 'blame' (media etc), all I care about is becoming happy(er) with myself. I am happier than I was two years ago as I've lost around 4.5 stone and my weight is now in the normal range; but I still wouldn't be happy, for example, taking my shirt off in front of other people.

I saw a picture on (I think) failblog or the like that said “Life has no remote control. You have to get up and change it yourself”. It sounds clichéd but it is true. If I'm not happy with the way I look then I'm the only one who's going to be able to change it. About this time last year I joined the gym at uni. I did go regularly but I stuck to mainly the treadmill and cross trainers and didn't really get anywhere. I did the same things and not only was it boring but I didn't really see any progress, so I stopped. I've joined again now with a renewed determination. What is different this time? I've recently become single and although I have no intention of getting into a relationship soon, I wouldn't be happy with someone else seeing my body. I've got the time to sort it out before that happens and so I'm going to make the most of it. I succeeded with the weight loss when at first I didn't think I could, so this won't be any different. First thing to do is pay £10 for a fitness programme. That way I can specify my goals and the fitness instructors will design a programme to achieve those goals. I've taken various measurements so I can compare my progress in a months time. That way I'll be able to see if what I'm doing is working.

Vital statistics:

39” - chest

38” – waist (belly button)

22” - thigh

11.5” – arm     

And this.

Supernatural Convention
Star Trek

This.

(no copyright infringement intended)

Cluster Headaches

Just over a week ago I had what I thought was a really bad migraine. It was a different kind of pain, though. It was centered behind my eye and went into my teeth and jaw. Unlike migraines, being in a dark room didn't seem to help. Thankfully it went after an hour. About a week later I was woken at around 2 am by the same pain. This time, however, it was much more intense. I was restless and regardless of how much I tried I just couldn't get comfortable. In the end I was pacing up and down in the hope that the pain would go. Normally I have a reasonably high tolerance to pain but, as this had reached a 10 on the pain scale, I will admit that it did actually make me cry. I ended up in A&E but after 2.5 hours of waiting, and still no doctor, the pain had subsided and so I went home (I was extremely tired by this point). The pain came back the next day, although it was 'only' a 7, and so I returned to A&E. I had to wait about 3 hours before I finally saw the doctor. The pain had subsided again by that point but I was determined to been seen by someone.

He said that it sounded like cluster headaches (CH) and to book an appointment with my GP. He gave me some Co-Codamol in case it happened again. I had a further 3 attacks after that, the worst reaching a 9 on Tuesday but luckily I didn't have one yesterday. The doctor took some blood and I get the results back tomorrow. He told me to take Paracetamol and Ibuprofen together, but I have been speaking to some CH sufferers who have said that painkillers just won't work. If the blood tests come back as normal and I get another attack I will go back and ask for some suitable medication.

I was advised to print off a journal article and take it with me, in the hope of educating my GP a bit further with regard to CHs. It says the following:

"Cluster headache (CH) pain is considered the most severe of the primary headache syndromes and
is arguably one of the most severe pain syndromes that afflict humans."

I would say that is an accurate description of how I feel during an attack. I'm hoping that it might be viral or stress related as there is no cure for CHs and people suffer for weeks or months at a time before being pain free. Inevitably, however, the CHs will return at some point and the cycle starts over. I will update once I have the results of the blood test and/or if I have another attack.        

Disorder update

Original Post 23/11/2011

I couldn't get an appointment yesterday, by the time I got through on the phone (10 mins after they opened) all of the appointments had gone. I did get a phone appointment and the Doctor said I need to come in for a face-to-face consultation, so I have to go in this afternoon. On the plus side I think I've managed to regain control and I've had a good two days. I'll post again after my appointment.

EDIT: Well I had my appointment and the Doctor has referred me for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I am still waiting for my letter to find out what exactly is going to happen.

Disorder

Original Post 18/11/2011

I came to the realisation the other day that I have an eating disorder. I have always had a problem where I will binge on certain foods. I'm not talking about having a little more than I should, everyone at some point or another will over-eat. I'm talking about full-on binge sessions where I will eat 5 chocolate bars in one sitting, or a whole pizza on my own. I will eat even when I'm not hungry and if I try to stop myself I will feel depressed. I also get annoyed and then depressed after a binge eating session.

Today I remembered that when I was around 10 I used to spend all of my £5 pocket money on sweets (and those were the days when penny sweets actually cost 1p and a fiver was a fair amount of pocket money) and eat them in one sitting. I remember being weighed at some point during primary school (year 4 or 5) and one of my peers gasping at my weight (he had come over, against my will, to see what I weighed). When I got to secondary school I was very overweight. I have no idea what I weighed but I remember feeling like crap. I got to the point where I wouldn't eat breakfast or lunch and then binge when I got home as I was so hungry. I used to hide my uneaten lunch in my room so my parents wouldn't find out. They did eventually and I managed to convince them that I just wasn't hungry. In reality I think I had convinced myself I wasn't hungry, but I just didn't want to eat around other people. One of my first memories is walking home from school with my mum and she had bought me an ice cream. Everyone else was having those 10p ice lollies but I had a full-size Magnum and I remember one of my classmates gasping when he saw what I had. My mum had/has a real problem with saying no to me and whilst I don't blame her I think this has had a big impact on my problems now. By the time I started uni I was a relatively normal weight. By the time I finished I had eaten my way to being 5 stone over weight. I have lost 4.5 stone of that weight but now my grip on the situation is slipping. I am really sacred of ending up where I started. I am by no means happy with myself at the moment but I am happier than I was a year and a half ago.

I think that maybe I felt slightly neglected as a child as my parents were constantly having to sort out problems with my Brother's children, and so food became a comfort. This is the only thing I can think of for my eating habits now. I have decided to make an appointment to see the Doctor in the hope I can get some help, and I'll blog again after.

Weight loss Update II

Original Post 10/04/2011

Well the last update I made wasn't entirely accurate. I went a bit mad over Christmas and gained about 8 lbs! It took longer than I thought (and wanted) to get back to 14 stone 7 lb. Progress was slow so now I have joined a group. This is helping a lot as I now get access to the Slimming World website which has lots of useful information. The recipes section is particularly good and the syns calculator is handy. I worked out how many syns I used to eat on average and it was slightly shocking. On SW you are allowed between 5 and 15 syns per day. I used to eat 180 syns per day before! No wonder I ended up about 5 stone over weight. Anyway, since joining the group I have lost 1 stone. I stayed the same last week but since the two weeks before that I lost a total of 9 lbs I'm not annoyed. I decided to have some pick 'n' mix yesterday which would have been over my syns but I'm not going to dwell on it. I'd rather that than blow a whole day or worse on eating crap.

I'm still on target to reach my goal of 12 stone by July. That means I need to lose a little under 2 lb per week which I think is achievable. I'm going to join the Uni gym tomorrow as the membership is cheap over the summer. It works out at about £12 per month which is good. Hopefully exercising will speed up the weight loss and make sure I reach my target on time. Below are my weight loss statistics so far:

Weight loss - 48 lbs, (3 stone 6 lb), (21.77 kg)

Weight loss % - 20.08

BMI 25.9 (nearly into the normal range!)

Weight to target - 1 stone 9 lb.

Customer Services IV - update

Original Post 11/02/2011


Well I finally got a reply from Amazon, one month after I sent my letter. They have refunded the P and P charge but are refusing to cover the other costs. I replied saying that I wasn't happy about this and issued them a letter before action (before you start a small claims court action). They still refused to cover the costs. I have shopped with them for at least 8 years but that has now ended. I have spent literally thousands with them over that time and they are quibbling over about £40. I have told them this and have demanded a reply from their MD who sent an email in December saying that they would 'make sure' Xmas orders would be delivered on time. According to the Oxford English dictionary the term 'make sure' is to 'establish that something is definitely so ; confirm:' which essentially guaranteed that my order would arrive before Xmas. This clearly didn't happen and they are refusing to man up and take responsibility. Obviously any company would take all the orders they could over Xmas as it's the busiest time of the year, but if they fail to deliver on time then they should be liable. I suggest that you think twice about shopping with Amazon over the Xmas period and if you see that Citylink are going to deliver your package then cancel the order straight away.

Customer Services IV

Original Post 13/01/2011

Well I decided to order a new TV in December. I've had a Playstation 3 for a while and wanted to make the most of the blu-rays that I have. I looked around and decided on the Sony KDl-46EX503. Amazon had it for the cheapest price and if you ordered before the 24th December you could claim the VAT back, which worked out at about £100. I placed the order on the 16th and paid extra for quicker delivery. Now the weather wasn't very good across the whole of the UK during December. There was lots of snow that caused the roads to grind to a halt. Despite this, Amazon guaranteed to deliver all pre-Christmas deliveries on or before the 24th December. The TV left Amazon on the 19th and was being sent by Citylink. I checked the Citylink website and the tracking info said it would be delivered between 07:30 and 17:30 on the 21st. On the day I checked the website again and it still said it was going to be delivered on the 21st, even though it wasn't 'out for delivery'. I tried to get hold of Citylink by phone but they had an automated message saying they were receiving too many calls to take my call. I sent an email but didn't get a reply. Despite the tracking info saying it would be delivered nothing arrived. I waited in the next day, tried to get hold of them via phone and email but still no delivery or reply. On the 23rd I managed to get through on the phone (they were taking calls if you repeatedly tried and were lucky enough to get through) and was told it was at the Ashford depot for delivery. I drove to the depot to collect it (which is about a ~ 67 mile round trip ) and was told it was still 'somewhere in the Midlands' and they had no idea when it would arrive. I managed to get hold of the head office number and called them on the 24th as the tracking still hadn't updated, and still said they would deliver on the 21st. I was told that it definitely wouldn't arrive in time for Christmas as it was at the Coventry depot. I offered to make the 400 mile round trip to Coventry to collect it but they said they have no idea where in the warehouse the package would be, so I'd have to wait for it to arrive at Ashford. I asked if they would give me a specified delivery time when it did finally arrive as a gesture of goodwill and to save me waiting in all day and the supervisor said she'd monitor the situation and contact me when it arrived. Now Christmas day was a Saturday and as the Monday and Tuesday were Bank Holidays Citylink weren't open again until the Wednesday. I checked the tracking info all day Wednesday and still no change so I called the main enquiries number. I was told that it had definitely now arrived at the Ashford depot and was scheduled for delivery but until it was loaded onto a van she couldn't say when it would be delivered. Ecstatic that it had finally made it to somewhere local, I called the Ashford depot to confirm I could collect it. Imagine my annoyance when I found out that it was still in Coventry. I asked to speak to the depot manager to get him to find out where it was but he was 'unavailable', as was every other manager at the depot. Probably because they were fed up with pissed off Customers.  I called head office again to try to find out where the TV was and when it would arrive. They said it was still in Coventry as there was a 5 day backlog at the Ashford depot. I asked them what a '5 day backlog means' as it had been sat at Coventry for 7 working days so surely it should have moved by now. All they could say was that there was a 5 day backlog and it should be delivered 'soon'. I asked was it likely that it would be delivered for the new year and they said no. By this point I am indescribably pissed off. They were blaming Amazon for accepting orders that they couldn't fulfil.  I don't see how Citylink managed to end up with a backlog. If they couldn't deliver to people so surely they couldn't collect from Amazon at the same time? If there was any kind of backlog it would be at Amazon. I'm assuming this is also true as the TV wasn't dispatched until two days after I ordered it. I have no idea what the hell Citylink were playing at though. It's absolutely outrageous that they weren't taking calls in the lead-up to Christmas and never bothered to reply to my emails. Now before you say that 'it's not just Citylink that had the problems it was all the couriers' there are hundreds of post saying that deliveries with Royal Mail, FedEx etc. were delivered fine. People are STILL reporting that guaranteed next day delivery items aren't being delivered even now and the snow has been gone for weeks!

Two such forums are posted below.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/forum/cd/discussion.html?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx2VNIOBYFU5MPA&asin=B001DTETLS&cdThread=Tx9I9WMV3SVL17

http://www.reviewcentre.com/reviews93418.html

The TV finally arrived on Monday 3rd January. Normally I would have praised them for delivering on a bank holiday but this is the least they should have done. I was out when they tried to deliver it so they left it with a neighbour. I wasn't very happy about this but at least I got it eventually. Obviously the supervisor who said she'd call me when it had arrived at Ashford never did. I doubt there is anyone at that useless company that can do their jobs properly.

This is by far the worst example of customer service I have received. I spent about £15 on phone calls just for them to tell me they couldn't take my call. It also cost around £25 petrol for the wasted journey to the Ashford depot based on false information (I'd go so far as to say outright lying to get me off the phone). They have blatantly lied to me on multiple occasions. I have written to Amazon requesting they reimburse the out-of-pocket expenses and have a week left to reply to me. I'll update you when I have a reply.

Weight Loss Update

Original Post 04/01/2011

Well it's been a while since the last update so I thought I'd post a quick update. My most current weight is 14st 7lb which means I have lost 2.5 stone. The diet is going well and I plan to be at my intial target weight of 12 stone by the Summer.

I'll blog again soon with more details of the progress so far.

End of Week 7 - Weigh Day

Original Post 23/08/2010

Well I think the scales I were using last week were a bit off. I'm weighing myself both on Wii Fit and with my bathroom scales. Wii fit said I had lost 3 pounds and the scales said I had lost 5 so I averaged it at 4. My weight last week according to my bathroom scales was 15st 8lb. This week the Wii said I lost 4 lb and the new high precision bathroom scales I have bought gave the same weight as the Wii so I'm assuming a 4lb weight loss this week is correct. This puts my weight at 15st 6lb which is only a 2 pound difference from last week, so I's assuming last week's weight was wrong.

I went swimming for the first time in ages last week and managed to swim half a mile. I went again today and managed a whole mile (probably a bit more as I lost count and rounded down to be safe). Feels good to be doing exercise again and hopefully the high weight loss will continue. I don't want to lose too much too quickly though to avoid horrible amounts of loose skin.

I have now lost a total of 23 pounds which is a total of 9.6 % of my original body weight. Very near to my second goal of losing 10% so I think it's time to make some more goals.

Goal 1 - Get my weight into the 14st regime.

Goal 2 - Reach 14st 7lb. This will mean I have lost 2.5 stone.

Goal 3 - Reach 14st 1lb. This will be a total loss of 3 stone and once I have done this I will treat myself to an annual pass to Thorpe Park as I love theme parks.

Weight last week (revised) - 15st 10lb

Weight this week - 15st 6lb

Weight loss this week - 4lb

Total weight loss (revised) - 23lb

End of Week 6 - Weigh Day

Original Post 15/08/2010

A massive four pounds lost this week. My BMI is now under 30 which means I am no longer Obese! Really pleased with the progress. I have lost a total of one and a half stone in 6 weeks. Hopefully I will be able to wear my awesome replica matrix coat again this winter as I had outgrown it.

Weight last week - 15st 12lb

Weight this week - 15st 8lb

Weight loss this week - 4lb

Total weight loss - 21lb

End of Week 5 - Weigh Day

Original Post 15/08/2010

Another two pounds gone this week. My BMI is nearly under 30 now and I'm now under 16st which is a personal milestone.

Weight last week - 16st

Weight this week - 15st 12lb

Weight loss this week - 2lb

Total weight loss - 17lb

End of Week 4 - Weigh Day

Original Post 01/08/2010

Another week down and another 2 pounds gone. Not as much as last week but it's likely to go up and down. Well that and the fact I had a pizza mid week. I won't be doing that again. Felt really crap after and it impeded my weight loss

Weight last week - 16st 2lb

Weight this week - 16st 0lb

Weight loss this week - 2lb

Total weight loss - 15lb

End of Week 3 - Weigh Day

Original Post 27/07/2010

I lost another four pounds this week. Much better than the previous. I'm just 1 lb off losing a stone which, in three weeks, isn't bad at all. I've found the plan really easy to stick to and I'm eating less than I used to. I did a bit more exercise last week and I'm going to try to do more this week. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I'll be exercising every day.

Weight last week - 16st 6lb

Weight this week - 16st 2lb

Weight loss this week - 4 lb

Total weight loss - 13 lb

End of Week 2 - Weigh Day

Original Post 27/07/2010

Week 2 I lost two pounds. I was a little disheartened after the previous seven pound weight lose but apparently week 2 is usually where people lose the least due to the body going into starvation mode.

Weight last week - 16st 8 lb

Weight this week - 16st 6lb

Weight loss this week - 2 lb

Total weight loss - 9 lb

End of Week 1 - Weigh Day

Original Post 11/07/2010

Well today is the end of week one which means weigh day. I have eaten so much food this week I thought there's no way I've lost anything and probably gained some weight. Yesterday I had two big pots of vanilla yogurt. I have sometimes had two jacket potatoes with beans for one meal. Other times I've had two platefuls of quorn-beef hash (Quorn mince mixed with baked beans and topped with mashed potato). I've had countless yogurts and small amounts of chocolate, endless fruit and veg, fruit mixed with natural yogurt. Yesterday I had a meat day. For breakfast I had a massive bacon and lettuce roll for breakfast. I had a homemade burger topped with bacon and cheese in a bun for lunch. Slices of ham. So I was both surprised and pleased when I jumped on the scales and found out I've lost 7 pounds in my first week. That took a whole point off my BMI so it is now 31. I'm really pleased I have survived the first week. Sometimes it was hard when other people were eating burger and chips or chocolate. I just ignored it and thought to myself that I want to lose the weight more than I want a burger or big bar of chocolate. The headaches have gone now. I think I didn't have enough to eat on the first day. I did have a 'fuzzy' head for a few days while my body was adjusting to the quite extreme diet change but this has now subsided and I feel better than ever. Hopefully next week will be easier, not that this week was hard at all because I never felt hungry. I may update during the week if I'm having a bad time. If not I will update with my weight next week.

Weight last week - 17st 1lb

Weight this week - 16st 8lb

Weight loss this week - 7lb

Total weight loss - 7lb

Customer Service III

Original Post 09/07/2010


Why is everything so difficult? I was checking my bank statements today and noticed a direct debit that I had cancelled had been reinstated (by the company, who had been informed I wanted to cancel and told me to do it myself). Now the reason I cancelled this direct debit was because a free product never arrived (see previous Customer Service blog for details). So, being somewhat annoyed, I phoned up to speak to a manager to find out what was going on. She looked into it and called me back saying that they have my account as cancelled on their system. I can't cancel the direct debit so hopefully they won't take any money. But why should companies be so incompetent that I have to do all of the running around? I also had to phone up another company that sent me a letter saying I owed them money for a different subscription that has now finished, only to find out they had made a mistake on their system. It really annoys me that I feel like I have to do everyone's jobs for them and don't get anything in return, sometimes even the product I have paid for!

Week 1 - Day 1

Original Post 05/07/2010

Well I have decided that enough is enough. It's time to lose the weight I gained while I was at Uni. I have gained so much weight that my BMI is now 32. This puts me in the 'obese' category which means I am at a greater risk of various illnesses. I have tried to change what I eat over the past year or so but it hasn't worked so I decided that I need some structure to losing weight, which is why I have decided to follow the Slimming World (SW) plan. I don't generally agree with 'diets'. You have to eat half a lettuce leaf with grated carrot three times a day and because you're starving yourself your body goes into survival mode and you lose weight slowly. Then, when you have lost weight, you start eating like you used to and it all goes back on.

SW, on the other hand, allows you to eat as much of certain foods as you want. You don't need to weigh anything, calorie count or exclude certain foods. The only thing you have to do is separate carbohydrates and proteins. You can eat both but not on the same day. If you decide you want to eat meat you can have as much non-processed meat as you like. A whole chicken? Not a problem. Rack of ribs? Go for it. Eat until you are full. If you want things like chocolate you can but in very small amounts. Now some people might complain about how little processed foods and high calorie / high fat foods you can eat. The way I am looking at it is that I have eaten too much of these foods for too long which is why I am so overweight now.

So today's the first day of the new eating regime. I'm not feeling hungry but have a slight headache due to the sugar withdrawal. This would happen regardless of the eating plan I decided on so I have to just get on with it. It should pass in a few days hopefully. I think it would be a good idea to set some mini goals. Looking at the big picture is off-putting so hopefully this will help.

Goal 1 - reach a weight of 15 st 7 lb. This will bring me into the overweight catagory and out of the obese one.

Goal 2 -  reach a weight of 15st 4 lb. This will mean I have lost 10 % of my body weight which is recommended for anyone with a BMI of over 30.

All together I have to lose a shocking 33% of my body weight to reach my ideal BMI of 22. I have a long way to go but I am determined to succeed.

I will update in a few days on my progress.

Customer services II

Original post 11/06/2010

It's bad enough when a private company provides shoddy service or doesn't fulfill their contract, but at least you can resort to the claims courts. What's even more annoying is when a company like Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC), who aren't accountable under the law (ie you can't sue them), also provide a somewhat poor service. Fortunately I haven't had any bad experiences with HMRC but I was watching BBC's Watchdog and other people have. One lady had been declared dead by HMRC not once but THREE times! It can't be a nice thing for a government agency to inform you that you're dead when there's nothing wrong with you. Other people had overpaid and have been waiting months for refunds but haven't received them due to 'computer problems'. In my opinion 'computer problems' is a poor excuse for a crappy service. Now I have no delusions that an organisation like HMRC isn't allowed to make mistakes, they deal with tens of millions of people every year. But when they do they should sort it immediately. There is also the hypocrisy where if you under pay they will not only charge you for the lost interest (higher than the Bank of England rate) but they will add on another 5% admin fee. If, on the other hand, they owe you, then that's all you get and count yourself lucky you've got that.

Just a mini-rant today. But tomorrow is a new day and I'm sure something else will piss me off!

Customer Services

Original post 09/06/2010

Well I have finally decided to start a blog. There are many things I have opinions about and it's probably better that I rant about them somewhere, so a blog seems the best place. Recently I feel that customer services in general has taken a turn for the worse. I mean it's never the best thing when it comes to big companies (although some are better than others) but just recently I feel I have been doing people's jobs for them. For example: I recently subscribed to a magazine that had a promotional offer where they gave you a choice of free gifts. One of them happened to be season 4 of Supernatural. Since I didn't have it, and wanted to get it, I decided on this. I got the first magazine after a few weeks but no sign of the DVD. I phoned up and they said they had just received the DVDs and they were being packaged and sent so I should receive it within 10 days. A couple of weeks later I phoned again to find out where it was and they said they had run out before but now they had another batch in they would send it to me ASAP. Yet again a couple of weeks go by and nothing. I phone again and they assure me it will be sent out and I should receive it within 10 days. Now I happen to have worked in customer services so I feel I have a right to make comment on this issue. It is completely unacceptable for a company to expect a customer to wait this long for a product (even a free gift is covered by consumer law as it forms part of the original contract). Had I been the person who had received the call I would have had a DVD sent special delivery to keep the customer happy, especially as they have been promised several times before the item would turn up and it didn't. The company simply said that it would be 10 days. No surprises that it didn't turn up a couple of weeks later so I cancelled the magazine and sent an email stating why I was unhappy. So far I haven't received a reply. Companies don't seem to care about individual customers, it's only a problem if they lose many so sometimes you have no option to put up with crap service.

After graduating and before I started my PhD I had to pay the full council tax rate and as soon as I could I sent the council a copy of my exemption certificate. I continued to pay the full amount for a couple of months so I called to find out what was going on. They said they couldn't locate the certificate and I needed to send another. Already this has caused me to waste the little time that any PhD student has for themselves, because someone else can't do their job properly. I complied and eventually they reduced the rate to the correct amount. I requested a refund of the over-payments I had made after starting my PhD and they sent me a cheque. Now I pay the council tax from my own personal account via direct debit so they know the details of the payee. But they sent me a cheque with both mine and my girlfriend's names and as we don't have a joint back account I couldn't cash it. I called them back up and they said they would send another (that's all they said, they made no requests at the time). So from what should have been a simply matter of me sending them a form and them charging me the correct amount has already wasted a lot of my personal time. After several weeks and still no cheque I call AGAIN and they inform me that I need to send them the cheque back (yes the one that they could cancel and the one that I have ABSOLUTELY no way of cashing without going through the hassle of setting up a joint account) before they will issue me another. Now why the f**k didn't they tell me that the first time I called about the cheque and save me the hassle of calling again? Plus the lost interest on the money that they probably wouldn't even think of (it's not the money more the principle). There seems to be the attitude that if you don't get paid much then you shouldn't care about your job. This is absolutely the wrong attitude. Regardless of pay everyone should do the best job they can (and there definitely shouldn't be cash incentives for people to meet targets).

I have many more instances of crappy customer services but I will save those for another time. Hopefully my next blog will be less complaining.

Calming Music

A couple of pieces of music that I listen too when I need to calm down. Not that today has been particularly stressful. Yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vcFFf9aa7k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1sYkJHipvg

Let me know of the piece(s) of music you find calming.

Friends

Well I've decided to move over to blogger after having heard good things about it from a friend. At some point I'll move my (few) posts over from my other blog. I really should blog more but don't have (or more accurately make) the time.

I thought my first post should be about friends. I have the best friends in the world (OK, pass the bucket around). A difficult friendship ended recently and I thought that this person wouldn't have an effect on my life anymore, but I was wrong. It certainly wasn't as bad as when we were 'friends', but it was still draining at times. I have been leaning heavily on the person I consider to be my best friend and she has been there every time. For this I am eternally grateful. There was much drinking last night (for reasons I can't go into at the moment) which seemed to make things a whole lot better, even if it was only temporary. Don't worry, I not going to turn to drink (often!). I think we've decided to do this more often (making sure my friend doesn't mix her drinks), as it's a good opportunity to air our feelings about life in general. I had never taken my friendships for granted but it really makes you see how good your true friends are when someone else is a constant drain and the main source of you feeling like crap. In every (good) friendship there is give and take but when one person is always giving and the other is always taking you start to lose perspective and this becomes the norm. That's how this went on for three years and I am ashamed to say that I defended this person when they were really indefensible on several occasions. I allowed him/her to be rude and disrespectful to others and didn't step in when I should have. The positive that comes from this is that now I am a stronger person and everything is in perspective. I won't allow someone to be disrespectful to my friends again.

Well that was all quite heavy, next time I'll try to be a bit lighter!